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Quips, queries, and querulous quibbles from the quirky mind of Don Kahle

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Spare Sunday Sup-Sags

October 30th, 2022 by dk

Spare Sunday Scraps, Syllogisms, and Superfluous Sagacities:

  • Don’t expect sharp knives in an Airbnb kitchen. That’s a metaphor for something, but I don’t know what.
  • I wonder how AP writers would rank the Ducks, had they played PSU at Autzen instead of Georgia in Atlanta to start this football season.
  • What is unbeknownst to me vastly outweighs what is beknownst to me. (This no longer includes the fact that “beknownst” isn’t actually a word.)
  • I saw “Watch Batteries Changed Here.” I asked for show times and they looked at me like I’m weird.
  • A Costco rotisserie chicken costs about the same as a car air freshener and it works just as well.
  • Bicycling would double in popularity if the headgear looked cool. “It’s not what you do. It’s how you look doing it.”
  • Any suggestions how I can progress from a condition to a syndrome and ultimately to a full-blown complex?
  • You call them opinions. I call them insights.
  • Lanyards are not part of Eugene’s usual dress code.
  • I popped a button the other day. I wasn’t proud of it.
  • Nobody told me that people have stopped using craigslist.
  • I can draw more than conclusions.
  • Allspice didn’t replace all others.
  • Why doesn’t my bottle of non-aspirin contain a little bit of everything (except aspirin, of course)?
  • Hardly anyone calls anyone “dumb” anymore. In my childhood, we regularly used the word twice as an appellation.
  • It’s a sham that an “e” can be silent but still essential.
  • Politically speaking: The left adores being right. The right abhors being left.
  • We can become so obsessed with what something means that we can’t see what’s true.
  • Does every thin person have an eating disorder? Is every ascetic hiding shame? Are all overachievers compensating for bad parents? Is every deviation from the mean a malady?
  • “No problem” has slowly replaced “you’re welcome” but it can still mean “I forgive you.” This isn’t the first conflation of pleasantries. For generations, “I’m sorry” has meant both “I’m sad” or “I’m regretfully responsible.”
  • When you eat portions of leftovers, do you put the remainder into ever-smaller containers? (I do, even if my fridge isn’t overstuffed.)
  • We’re running so many tests on people that we may run out of litmus.
  • The dime is our best coin; the nickel’s the worst. Fight me.
  • I swear no one ever told me that removing water from the tofu brick gives it a more familiar mouthfeel. And a third of my friends are vegetarians!
  • Does enduring design come from deep authenticity or deep empathy? Both.
  • Sometimes we have to say something out loud to find out whether we believe it.
  • If you’re not curious, you are failing to use the factory-installed equipment.
  • I’d favor a leaf-blower tax with the funds subsidizing rake prices. Keep increasing the tax until rakes are free.
  • Anything that’s paid for by someone else should cost more. If you’re paying with your own money (with no intent to get reimbursed) — whether it’s a car or a lunch or an iron lung — you should get the lowest price.
  • Bowling alleys shouldn’t require you to rent their shoes if your sneakers cost more than $100.
  • Automobile manufacturers should add a second horn that conveys, “Oops, I’m sorry.” This small technology could eliminate most road rage.
  • Not to brag, but I invented the self-fulfilling prophecy. Or I meant to.
  • We should give base-12 a try. We’d all like to be younger and most of us would like to weigh less. A 65 year old who weighs 200 pounds would instantly become a 148-pound 55-year-old, just like that.
  • Exploregon. You’ll adoregon. Who could ask for moregon?


Don Kahle ( writes a column each Wednesday and Sunday for The Register-Guard and archives past columns at

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