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Quips, queries, and querulous quibbles from the quirky mind of Don Kahle

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Summerlike Fripperies Are Lighter Than Err.

July 30th, 2018 by dk

Fifth Friday footnotes, follow-ups and far-flung fripperies:

  • I’m surprised China didn’t quickly hike fireworks prices, just to make us pay more to celebrate our independence.
  • I wonder how much wheelchair seating they have set aside for the Grateful Dead concert at Autzen Stadium this weekend?
  • Stressed spelled backwards is desserts.
  • I can’t shake a feeling that we’re smack between KA and BOOM!
  • Celebrate the ordinary. It’s what the world is mostly made of.
  • I hear where you’re coming from, but can you hear where you’re headed?
  • My herb garden became more fragrant this year. It was just a matter of thyme.
  • If you don’t feel safe, you won’t take chances. If you don’t take chances, you won’t make mistakes. If you don’t make mistakes, you won’t learn lessons. If you don’t learn lessons, you won’t grow stronger. If you don’t grow stronger, you won’t feel safe. (Repeat.)
  • China is getting picky about what they’ll recycle. They could win the trade war by forcing us to keep what we bought.
  • I haven’t spilled anything in a suspiciously long time.
  • The trouble with accomplishments is that you’ve already done them.
  • American leaders in the 1700s often used the term “mobocracy” to describe what our republic must guard against. And yet, here we are.
  • You begin feeling old when your first babysitter dies.
  • Not much can be done about self-doubt. Self-doubt resists self-change. Only exhaustion offers relief.
  • We could unite around preserving “neighborhood character,” if only we could objectively define it.
  • I’ve never had the slightest urge to buy a brand new car.
  • Design doesn’t add beauty. It’s extracted. Beauty emerges.
  • Training makes the good better, but it seldom makes the bad good. The bad usually don’t know they’re bad. They think the training must be for others. And so it is.
  • Where does string end and rope begin?
  • If you want a better outcome, it helps to have a better income.
  • Crock pot cookery is a miracle by another name.
  • If America lasts long enough, we may someday all have professional agents to better represent our personal interests.
  • My life is missing something and I’m pretty sure it involves mayonnaise.
  • Given the plummeting retail prices for marijuana, how long before some growers resort to “pick your own” pot fields?
  • I’ll bet there aren’t many other towns with Mercedes-Benz and BMW dealerships located on Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard.
  • Does Saturday Market curb our appetite for other weekend festivals?
  • Automobiles make good umbrellas.
  • Politicians seek approval, but President Trump is not a politician. He’s content so long as he’s getting our attention. Civil disobedience may require a synchronized shrug.
  • Being a consumer doesn’t necessarily make you a customer. If you’re not paying it, chances are you’re not the customer. You’re the product.
  • I love the question the European Union has been asking: “Can consumers overpay for what’s free?” (Yes.)
  • Sometimes paying too little costs too much.
  • It seems like Sen. Jeff Merkley is already running for vice president in 2020.
  • Which will arrive sooner and which is to be preferred — 100 percent employment or 100 percent unemployment? What are you planning to do after work?
  • Old age should be considered an accomplishment, not a predicament.
  • Feeling warmth is different from feeling warm.
  • Is it my imagination, or are hearing aid ads in the newspaper getting larger and more frequent?
  • Benjamin Franklin is considered one of our Founding Fathers, but he never fought in a war or ran for public office. Newspapers are that central to this republic.
  • If there’s no local press, a press release becomes nothing more than a release.
  • Am I the only one bothered that when the registered trademark ® is added the University of Oregon’s logo, it begins to look like a Q?
  • A candlemaker’s favorite Ray Bradbury novel: “Something Wicked This Way Comes.”
  • The Tai Chi instructor urged enthusiasm. His students were just going through the motions.
  • The seamstress hired an assistant. Now she has her work cut out for her.
  • By and large, people are getting by and getting large.
  • The future is much less foreseeable than it used to be.
  • My package arrived without incident. Incident was mailed separately.
  • Tell me again. Is chicken-fried steak chicken or steak?
  • Nothing teaches ubiquity better than glitter. If it was anywhere, it will be everywhere.
  • The hobbled runner refused extra shoe support. He didn’t want to add insert to injury.
  • Self-satisfaction must not be equated with happiness.
  • Gradualism teaches us (wrongly) that all change is inevitable, imperceptible, and never uncomfortable.
  • My memory’s not as good as I remember it once was.
  • Exactly how far is away?


Don Kahle ( writes a column each Friday for The Register-Guard and blogs at


  • Remember Richard Hatch? He was reality TV’s breakthrough villain. To understand better how Donald Trump’s first show (and maybe also his current one) succeeded, reacquaint yourself with how Hatch prevailed on “Survivor” in 2000.
  • Some people don’t have too much stuff. They have too few houses.
  • Don’t look now, but all those website “dashboards” are slowly being renamed as simply “boards.”
  • Do you remember Admiral John Poindexter’s “Total Information Awareness” program? I didn’t think so. It never really went away.
  • My cat wishes I had a spare lap.
  • Some love weather forecasts more than they like actual weather.
  • I was recently in an auto repair shop with a wine bar in the waiting room. Why isn’t this more common?
  • Will those who railed against so-called “death panels” should object to the proposed Council on Public Assistance. In both cases, unelected bureaucrats could end up making life-or-death decisions. In the latter case, who should be given food benefits?

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