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No Collusion! Explained

April 5th, 2019 by dk

There was no collusion. There couldn’t have been. Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin wanted to embarrass and weaken Hillary Clinton, but in different ways. Putin wanted Trump to win the presidency. Trump wanted to narrowly lose.

Putin aimed to weaken America and its democratic ideals as much as possible. He knew he could make the democratic world order quiver if not collapse under the weight of a chaotic and acrimonious election.

Trump saw nothing wrong with participating, so long as it boosted his own celebrity and wealth. He planned to keep his day job as a real estate mogul, a television star, and a spokesperson for white male victimhood. He never wanted to live in the White House.

Public testimony from Trump’s sycophants paint a clear picture of a man who launched a political campaign to burnish his brand. He picked his sidekicks as costars in his reality show, never expecting they would have any real responsibilities.

Everyone thought Hillary Clinton would win the race. Trump cast himself as the star of the Washington Generals, losing to the Harlem Globetrotters, but just barely. All that mattered was that the crowd got a good show.

But then something went wrong. Thanks to the Electoral College and Democratic overconfidence, Trump became the dog that caught the car. Trump’s Plan B became Plan A.

Putin’s feigned interest in a Trump Tower Moscow would have to wait a few years. Putin must have snickered at Trump’s proposal of the penthouse suite as a kickback. Trump couldn’t understand that Putin’s graft was on a much grander scale.

Putin may have pretended to like the idea of Ivanka’s spa catering to the ultra-wealthy who suspiciously hang around the Russian Kremlin. It was only fair. After sending Russian cronies to Florida and New York to launder their money with overpriced real estate, the Trump family wanted their turn to hide its wealth from tax authorities.

It was as if Putin promised to sell Trump a condo with private access to all the up-and-comers in the neighborhood. Only after the sale was completed did Trump realize his unit had no windows at all, but shared a thinly insulated wall with the building’s elevator. Trump failed to read the fine print, and had no one to blame but himself.

Which is exactly the opposite of what he had wanted. Trump aimed to narrowly lose to Hillary, so he could blame the crooked media for his underserved misfortune. This is the role he has perfected in the media for decades. It was the role he was born to play.

I can picture him scheming with Roger Ailes and Bill Shine, two Fox News executives fired for sexual improprieties. Together, they could take over Fox News or launch a competing network. Bill O’Reilly, similarly deposed, would be their headline star, after Trump himself.

He must have been envisioning constant access to the airwaves to question every move made by President Hillary and Obama before her, without ever offering better ideas. Indeed, that describes pretty well how he spends his days, neglecting the job he inadvertently won.


Don Kahle ( writes a column each Friday for The Register-Guard and blogs at

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