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Quips, queries, and querulous quibbles from the quirky mind of Don Kahle

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Fripperies For All

August 7th, 2020 by dk

Fifth Friday footnotes, follow-ups and far-flung fripperies:

  • I miss precedented times, when we were in charted territory.
  • Are you a literalist or a lateralist? Do you prefer things to be straight ahead or does sideways motion interest you more?
  • Who has the last remaining kitchen appliance colored either avocado, harvest gold or burnt umber?
  • Voters on both sides tell pollsters untruths. Many conservatives insist they might not vote for Trump when they know they will. Many liberals say they will definitely vote and many of them won’t.
  • I have too many channels to monitor and I’m not talking about television.
  • Would it be too much to ask for Springfield Creamery to sell its OCF ice cream at local outlets for a few weeks? That taste is how many of us mark another year past.
  • Multi-tasking is overrated. It keeps most from actually tasking.
  • Police violence was attributed to “a few bad apples.” Doesn’t the same metaphor explain Portland’s recent mayhem?
  • Am I the only one who’s nervous that Eugene and Williams|Dame still haven’t signed an agreement for EWEB’s waterfront development?
  • Watch for references to a “K-shaped recovery” where assets and wealth grow, while income and payrolls shrink.
  • We never should have stopped saying, “I told you so.” Those kind enough to not say it, but smart enough to deserve to — those are the ones most worth hearing.
  • I marvel at the elegant engineering of a weed-whacker. The name is clumsier than the machine.
  • For long-time residents, the Black Lives Matter protests started off confusing. When we protested against clearcuts, BLM stood for the bad guys — Bureau of Land Management.
  • What are the French trying to tell us? Their word for Warning is “Avertissement.”
  • You know you’ve reached a certain age when you raise the top of the convertible because it’s too sunny.
  • Watching Sabrina’s first WNBA game with no fans didn’t seem that weird. It looked like any game the Ducks played at USC.
  • My cat is concerned. Roofers make noises overhead that he doesn’t recognize. He worries that squirrels may now have heavy artillery.
  • Nightmare scenario: Ruth Bader Ginsburg lives long enough to see Biden elected, but dies before he becomes president. Shenanigans ensue.
  • I hate it when I’m a day late to an avocado.
  • Dan Snyder and his Washington football team missed the easy solution. They could have rebranded as “couch potatoes” and kept the Redskins name.
  • (I think most mathematicians will back me up on this.) Zero is more trouble than it’s worth.
  • I haven’t set my phone’s ringer on vibrate for four months. So there’s that.
  • Great leaders aren’t found. They’re built — by the movements they lead.
  • I wonder if the slogan “Defund the Police Union” would be more widely embraced.
  • “All Lives Matter” is the goal. “Black Lives Matter” is the next step toward that goal.
  • With infections and unemployment skyrocketing, government should consider banning skyrockets.
  • Let bygones be bygones, but not while they’re still bygoing.
  • The insufferable know everything except that they are.


Don Kahle ( writes a column each Friday for The Register-Guard and blogs at

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