It was dark. It was late. What I remember most was the clatter.
I sprang from my bed to see what was wrong, but on the roof remained only sleigh tracks and hoof marks. I was glad I bought reindeer-safe, organic roof moss retardant, or that clatter might have ended with eight loud thumps.
Then I saw something had been left behind. It was a list. Here it is.
Kitty Piercy (nice) — for giving those who would like to follow her as mayor of Eugene plenty of time to talk themselves out of it.
Uber ride-sharing service (naughty) — for not playing nice with Eugene or Portland or really with anyone, giving the nascent “sharing economy” a black eye.
Otto Poticha (nice) — for waging an all-out campaign to save the old Eugene City Hall.
Eugene City Council (nice) — for not saving it.
Michael Gottfredson (naughty) — for not getting out enough to see how imperiled his presidency of the University of Oregon had become.
Scott Coltrane and Frances Bronet (nice) — for stepping in to give the state’s flagship university some stability during a time that would have been tumultuous even without an abrupt transition in Johnson Hall.
Allan Benavides (nice) — for convincing the Chicago Cubs not to replace the front office staff when taking over the Eugene Emeralds from the San Diego Padres.
Capstone Collegiate Communities (naughty) — for racing to open their downtown housing complex in time for the school year, sacrificing quality of construction and clarity with contractors to meet their unrealistic timeline.
Joey Harrington (nice) — for setting the eventual stage for Marcus Mariota’s non-campaign to win the Heisman Trophy. If Marcus has been compared to Jesus, Joey played John the Baptist.
Mark Helfrich (nice) — for never becoming part of the story, which can’t be easy when you’re the highest paid employee on the state’s payroll.
Marcus Mariota (nice) — see separate sheet for additional information.
Vin Lananna (nice) — for aiming so high that he’s not certain he’ll always succeed.
Springfield City Council (naughty) — for aiming so far south that their urban growth boundary expansion probably won’t succeed.
The Register-Guard (nice) — for continuing to publish daily, hiring new reporters, and expanding its on-line presence — when other newspapers are resorting to Draconian cuts and click-bait schemes.
United States Veterans Administration (naughty) — for taking forever to settle on a location for their Lane County clinic, finally being built now on Chad Drive.
Karsten Rasmussen (nice) — for seeing the long-term value of a land swap between the city and county on 8th Avenue, opening the way for a possible expanded farmers market.
Rick Wright (nice) — for allowing activists to lead the Civic Stadium preservation effort.
Lane County Historical Museum (naughty) — for not doing enough to preserve public ownership of Eugene’s downtown Post Office.
Paul Weinhold (nice) — for leading the University of Oregon Foundation into uncharted territory, finding inventive ways to support the university’s mission while also building the foundation’s investment portfolio.
James Fox (nice) — for leading the University of Oregon Library’s successful effort to keep Ken Kesey’s collected works and papers archived in Eugene.
Jack Roberts (nice) — for failing forward.
University of Oregon Board of Trustees (naughty) — for learning late (and awkwardly) the difference between a private training session and a “training” designation used to keep their dealings private.
KRVM-FM (nice) — for keeping real variety in music.
Café Yumm (naughty) — for not developing a pizza recipe, using their signature sauce. Somebody figured out how to use pesto — so how hard could it be?
Bill Hulings, Storm Kennedy, and Mark Lewis (r.i.p.) (nice) — for not only staying in Eugene when their performance talent could take them anywhere, but choosing also to work here, to the delight of local audiences.
Paul Westhead (nice) — for going away quietly.
Peter DeFazio (nice) — for not going away.
Ron Wyden (nice) — for resisting every temptation to wear a lapel button that says, “I told you so.”
John Kitzhaber (naughty) — for slowing but not stopping coal trains traversing the state, peeving environmentalists but guaranteeing that the state’s naughtiest still will get something in their stockings this year.
Don Kahle (email@example.com) writes a column each Friday for The Register-Guard and blogs