“What’s gone away recently, never to return?” Somebody asked me that question recently. It really got me thinking. I’ll give you my best two answers, but I’ll pause first for a paragraph or two. How you would answer that question? You can put down the paper for a moment to ponder. I’ll wait. Or just read the next paragraph slowly while think.
How good are the Ducks going to be this football season? I know Coach Cristobal wants his team to be strong and determined, but does that require play calling to be stubborn and conservative? Can we throw in some flashy plays, just to keep the opposing team guessing? Those plays please fans, but they also probably help with recruiting.
OK, where were we? What has changed recently that’s unlikely to change back? My first answer was loneliness. It seems as though it has vanished, but it hasn’t. We need new metrics to monitor loneliness. It’s become too easy to find people who agree with us, who think the way we do, who make us feel good about ourselves.
Social media makes those connections very easily, but are they real enough to make us feel less alone, or less afraid of being alone? My hunch is those connections won’t remedy loneliness, even though they eliminate the condition that we think causes it.
You might have thousands of Facebook friends, hundreds of followers on Instagram, and still feel the ennui of disconnectedness. You can join chat rooms or Reddit threads where everybody is talking about all your favorite topics, yet still worry that none of it matters, that you don’t matter.
Social media gives salt water to a thirsty man. The more he drinks, the more he wants.
This has dire societal consequences. We shun and shame people to dissuade them from unproductive behaviors and beliefs. We’ve used ostracization as enforced loneliness to reel outliers back into the mainstream. Now it only drives them to further extremes. They can always find like-minded cohorts, if they dive deep enough.
My second answer connects to the first. I think a sense of “place” has gone away. At least it can no longer be assumed. I grew up in a world where voice and place were always attached. Even if it was over the phone, I always knew within a few feet exactly where somebody was sitting. Everyone’s phone was in the kitchen, tethered by an 8-foot cord.
Then came laptops and later cell phones. We’ve now mastered video calls with digitized backgrounds. Employers allow telework. Taken together, any of us can be anywhere. But when everywhere is a possibility, is “nowhere” the reality? Here again, we’re trying something new, wherever “here” is….
Then came cordless phones, laptops and cell phones. We make video calls with digitized backgrounds. Employers allow telework. Taken together, any of us can be anywhere. But when everywhere is a possibility, is “nowhere” the reality? Here again, we’re trying something new, wherever “here” is….
Can humans function without a sense of home and without relying on the connections that come from physical proximity and personal history? I don’t know, but we’re all about to find out.
Maybe that’s why we care so much about college football. It gathers people with shared passion and history into a specific, recognizable place. No one inside Autzen Stadium feels lonely.
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Don Kahle (fridays@dksez.com) writes a column each Friday for The Register-Guard and archives past columns at www.dksez.com.
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